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Enough with the Blonde Jokes

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A ventriloquist touring is doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he goes through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the second row stands on her chair and shouts: "I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes! "What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? "It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes but women in general. And you do it all in the name of humor".

Quite taken aback, the embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize.

But the blonde yells again, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

 

Balcony Wonders

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Good to Know

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Confession

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The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"

 

Surgery

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A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic.

The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.

The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

 
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